9 red flags that show your partner’s ex could be trying to sabotage your relationship

Relationships can be messy, especially when an ex is still hovering in the background.

It’s that sinking feeling you get when you wonder if your partner’s ex is doing more than just hanging around—they might be actively trying to stir things up.

It’s tough to know if you’re overthinking or if your gut is onto something real.

But spotting these red flags early on could make all the difference.

This article dives into nine signs that your partner’s ex might be trying to sabotage things between you two.

1) Constant intrusion

Navigating the seas of a new relationship can be tricky, even more so when there’s a persistent presence from the past.

Let’s talk about constant intrusion.

This happens when your partner’s ex seems to be everywhere – popping up in conversations, appearing at gatherings, or incessantly contacting your partner.

It’s like they’ve got a VIP pass to your relationship.

Feeling like you’re competing for your partner’s attention can be quite unsettling.

Especially when the competition is with someone who has shared a significant past with them.

It’s important to discuss this with your partner without sounding overly possessive or insecure.

Healthy boundaries are key in any relationship and it’s absolutely okay to voice your discomfort over such intrusions.

2) Subtle badmouthing

Once, in my own relationship, I started noticing something peculiar.

My partner’s ex seemed to have a knack for subtly badmouthing me.

It was never anything overt, but little comments here and there that were designed to make me look bad in my partner’s eyes.

It started innocently enough – little remarks about how they used to do things differently or how I didn’t quite understand my partner like they did.

Over time, these comments became more frequent and more pointed.

This is a classic move – subtle badmouthing.

It’s not always easy to spot, but it’s a definite red flag.

It’s an attempt to sow seeds of doubt in your partner’s mind about you.

The goal is usually to create rifts and arguments between you and your partner.

If you find yourself on the receiving end of such tactics, communicate openly with your partner about it.

Relationships thrive on trust and communication, and these can help you navigate such tricky situations.

So, beware of subtle badmouthing – it could be a sign that the ex is trying to undermine your relationship.

3) Playing the victim card

In psychology, there’s a concept known as the “Karpman Drama Triangle”.

It’s a model of human interaction that involves a victim, a rescuer, and a persecutor.

In the context of your relationship, your partner’s ex could be playing the role of the victim to elicit sympathy and manipulate the situation.

This is often done by portraying themselves as being mistreated or misunderstood.

The goal?

To keep themselves relevant in your partner’s life and to subtly paint you as the ‘bad guy’.

Discuss these situations and reassure each other of your commitment.

4) Overstepping boundaries

Every relationship has its boundaries, and respecting these is crucial for maintaining a healthy partnership.

However, if your partner’s ex seems to consistently overstep these boundaries, it could be a sign of trouble.

For instance, if they’re constantly calling at inappropriate hours, showing up uninvited or commenting excessively on your partner’s social media posts, it could signal an intention to disrupt your relationship.

It’s essential to establish and enforce these boundaries with your partner.

Open communication and mutual respect are key in handling such situations.

If you notice a recurring pattern of boundary violations from the ex, don’t brush it off.

5) Unresolved feelings

Moving on after a breakup isn’t always a clean break.

Sometimes, residual feelings linger and they can pose a challenge to new relationships.

If your partner’s ex often talks about the past, reminisces about their relationship, or openly expresses their unresolved feelings to your partner, it could be a red flag.

Such behaviors can create discomfort and even confusion in your relationship.

6) Manipulative behavior

Love should never be a game of chess, but sometimes, people use manipulative tactics to gain an upper hand.

This is especially true when an ex is trying to sabotage a relationship.

Manipulative behaviors can range from emotional blackmail to guilt-tripping.

For example, the ex might express how lonely or sad they are without your partner, or how they can’t function without them.

The aim is to make your partner feel guilty and potentially rekindle old feelings.

It’s heartbreaking to witness such behavior, and it can put a strain on your relationship.

But you need to stand your ground and not let such tactics manipulate your emotions or decisions.

7) Creating unnecessary conflicts

There was a time in my relationship when I noticed an unsettling pattern.

Almost every time we were finally at peace, an issue involving the ex would suddenly arise, causing unnecessary conflicts.

Sometimes, it was about an old gift they found, or a memory they wanted to share with my partner.

It felt like they were intentionally stirring the pot to create discord between us.

This is a common tactic used by people who want to sabotage a relationship – creating unnecessary conflicts.

It’s designed to disturb the peace and cause tension in your relationship.

8) Trying to isolate you

In any relationship, it’s important to have a supportive network of family and friends.

However, if your partner’s ex is trying to turn these people against you or isolate you from them, it could be a sign they’re trying to sabotage your relationship.

This can manifest in different ways.

They might spread rumors about you, share information out of context, or try to paint you in a negative light among your partner’s circle.

9) Disrespecting your relationship

The most important thing to remember is that every relationship deserves respect.

If your partner’s ex openly disrespects your relationship, it’s a major red flag.

This could involve belittling your relationship, comparing it with their past one, or plainly refusing to acknowledge its legitimacy.

Such behavior is not only inconsiderate but also a clear sign of someone trying to sabotage your relationship.

It’s about communication and trust

At the heart of every relationship, two fundamental pillars stand tall – communication and trust.

Navigating the waters of a relationship where an ex is involved can be challenging.

Spotting these red flags is crucial, but what’s even more important is how you handle them.

It’s about having open and honest discussions with your partner.

It’s about expressing your concerns without sounding accusatory, and understanding their perspective too.

And above all, it’s about trust.

Trust in your partner, trust in your bond, and trust in the strength of your relationship.

These red flags are not definitive proof of sabotage, but potential signs to look out for.

Remember, every situation is unique and should be handled with sensitivity and respect.

So, as you walk this journey hand in hand with your partner, keep these signals in mind.

And amidst the ebbs and flows, remember to keep the lines of communication open and trust intact.

Because at the end of the day, it’s your relationship, your story – no one else gets to write it for you.

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