Have you ever sworn up and down you’re “totally over” someone—yet you still catch yourself doing things that contradict that claim? It’s okay, I’ve been there too.
Sometimes, our hearts take a little longer to move on than our minds admit. But don’t worry, you’re in a safe space here on Never Liked It Anyway. We’re all about turning those breakup blues into something empowering, right?
Below are eight telltale signs that you’re secretly hoping they’ll do a grand comeback tour in your life, even if your lips keep saying “I’m fine.” If any (or all) of these ring a bell, don’t panic.
Recognizing it is step one—and it’s also where things start getting a lot more fun. Because once you see the pattern, you can finally break it…and maybe even profit off some old keepsakes in the process.
1. You can’t resist social media snooping
I get it—one harmless click on their profile turns into a full-blown investigation featuring profile photos, new friends, and mysterious tag alerts. You might tell yourself you’re just “curious” or “bored,” but deep down, there’s often more behind it.
You want to see if they’re dating someone else, or if they’re posting cryptic quotes that sound suspiciously like regrets about losing you. Before you know it, you’re scrolling through pictures from two summers ago, cross-referencing every caption.
If you find yourself actively monitoring their life (even if it’s just a weekly check), your heart might still be stuck in longing. There’s nothing wrong with a quick peek every now and then, but you want to notice when that occasional glance morphs into a private detective routine.
Trust me, I’ve self-assigned that badge far too often. There’s no real closure at the end of that deep dive, only more questions—and maybe some awkward “accidental like” anxieties at three in the morning.
2. You rationalize reaching out
We’ve all concocted elaborate reasons to text our ex, whether it’s to “clarify something about that Netflix password” or to ask if they still have the sweater you totally forgot about.
Sometimes, these reasons are legit—but other times, it’s just your heart looking for an excuse to crack open a conversation. After all, it’s a lot easier to say, “Hey, do you still have my old coffee mug?” than to flat-out ask, “Do you still think about me?”
If you keep “finding” new reasons to contact them, or you’re waiting by your phone after you do text, that’s a sneaky sign you’re not fully ready to let go.
I’ve even been tempted to plan a group outing with mutual friends just to bump into them (looking fabulously unbothered, of course). But it’s worth asking yourself: Am I truly done with this, or am I hoping for one last spark when we inevitably cross paths?
3. You play memory highlights on loop
Remember the time you both spent a rainy Sunday bingeing that hilarious comedy, ordering pizza, and laughing till your sides hurt? Those memories are lovely. They can also be dangerous if you’re cherry-picking only the best bits.
Suddenly, you’re busy painting a rose-tinted mural of your relationship that conveniently omits the arguments, the mismatched communication styles, or the times they forgot your birthday.
Nostalgia is powerful—it has a habit of sneaking in at midnight and whispering, “It wasn’t so bad, was it?” And guess what? If you keep replaying the good stuff, you’re bound to miss them more.
Susan Cain, who wrote about the power of bittersweet emotions, suggests that our longing can give us insight into what we truly value. But it also sets a trap: if you dwell too long on the highlight reel, you’re basically giving yourself permission to stay stuck in the past.
4. You compare everyone new to them
I once dated someone with an incredible sense of humor—genuinely comedic timing. For months after the breakup, I caught myself mentally ranking every new person I met against Mr. Punchline. “He’s funny,” I’d think, “but not that funny.”
It was as though my ex had become the golden standard I measured everyone else by. The result? Nobody measured up, not because they weren’t great, but because I was clinging to the memory of a relationship I supposedly left behind.
If you’re matching each new date, friend, or random person in line at the coffee shop against your ex’s quirks, it’s a red flag that you’re still hoping they’ll waltz back into your life.
You’re not giving people a fair chance—they’re forced to compete with a ghost. And trust me, a ghost always wins because it’s powered by your imagination. Reality can’t stand a chance against that airbrushed memory.
5. You get that heart-flip feeling when their name pops up
Maybe you’re minding your own business when you see a text from them—or a mention of them on social media—and your heart does cartwheels like an overly caffeinated cheerleader.
No matter how often you say you’re over it, your body can’t fake that reaction. It’s an actual visceral response that says, “Oh my gosh, they still matter to me.”
I’m not saying you have to be numb. Even after we move on, a part of us can get nostalgic or curious. But there’s a difference between a mild eyebrow raise (“Huh, there’s that name again”) and a full-on adrenaline surge. If it’s the latter, you might have a bit more emotional unpacking to do.
A friend once told me, “Whenever I see his name, my stomach flips like a pancake.” It might be harmless excitement. Or it might be a sign you’re secretly hoping this message is the gateway to a grand reunion.
6. You hold onto their stuff “just in case”
That T-shirt of theirs you still have? You tell yourself it’s the comfiest shirt ever—so naturally, it lives in your pajama drawer. Oh, and the random gadgets or sentimental trinkets you somehow haven’t returned?
They’re still hanging around your place as if waiting for an owner who might pop by. If you’ve found reasons to hang onto their belongings, it’s a subtle sign you’re still tethered to them.
It’s kind of like you’re keeping a backup plan, a physical reminder that says, “We’re not done yet, because I still need to give these things back.” Sometimes, these items even appear on Never Liked It Anyway as listings—tangible artifacts of a relationship that ended but still linger in our hearts.
Ask yourself: Are you holding onto them because you need them, or because a small part of you hopes they’ll ask for them back, sparking conversation?
7. You plan out your reunion scenario
Ever catch yourself daydreaming about running into them unexpectedly, looking absolutely fabulous, and having them realize they lost the best thing they ever had? Maybe this epic daydream includes perfect hair, perfect lighting, and a well-timed witty remark that shows you’ve thrived post-breakup.
While the occasional fantasy is harmless, constantly envisioning your “comeback scene” can hint that you’re not just over them. You’re low-key hoping for that dramatic cinematic moment where you get closure—or a second chance.
I’ve written entire scripts in my head, from how I’d greet them to how they’d apologize and beg me to give it another shot. If you find yourself stuck in these mental movies more often than you’d like to admit, it might be time to call “cut,” toss out the script, and focus on the real show: your life, sans ex.
8. You can’t shake the “what if” questions
“What if we had just tried a bit harder?” “What if I’d compromised on that one issue?” “What if they text me tomorrow saying they miss me?”
Those pesky what-ifs can keep you awake at night, replaying old arguments, searching for missed opportunities, and imagining alternate endings to your story. It’s like being stuck in the Multiverse of Maybes—where each parallel universe teases a different outcome but never actually happens.
Yes, reflecting on lessons learned can be healthy—Brené Brown often highlights the importance of owning our stories. But if you’re trapped in a loop, you’ll never fully accept the reality that the chapter has closed.
Ultimately, the question you want to ask isn’t “What if we got back together?” It’s “What do I need to do to move forward?” Even if there’s a cosmic chance for reconciliation down the road, clinging to it now only stalls your personal growth—and that’s a price you don’t want to pay.
Final Thoughts
If you recognized yourself in any of these signs, don’t beat yourself up. It’s normal to cling to threads of hope after a breakup—our hearts rarely move in a straight line.
But the best part about acknowledging these behaviors is that you can finally transform them into something healthier. Maybe you sell a few old reminders on Never Liked It Anyway, or let yourself dive into new experiences that don’t revolve around your ex.
You’ve got this. Embrace the fact that every ending can be the start of a brand-new story. And if an ex does come knocking later? You’ll be standing tall, perfectly capable of deciding what you want—no more anxious detective missions or daydream scripts required. It’s your life. Own it, and let the rest fall into place.
