Have you ever caught yourself playing detective on your ex’s Instagram at two in the morning, acting as if you’re cracking a major life case? Because, same.
After one particularly messy breakup—think mismatched Tupperware still in my kitchen—I realized I was desperate to untangle my heart from someone who was no longer in my life. It felt like my own brain was glued to them, replaying every memory on loop.
That’s when I started experimenting with new habits—eight, specifically—to help me emotionally release all that baggage and step into a healthier headspace.
Below, I’m sharing what worked for me in everyday life, so you can pick and choose the daily tricks that resonate with you. Let’s jump right in.
1. Start the day with a mini “me” check-in
I like to call this the “shake off yesterday” routine. Every morning—usually while I wait for my coffee to brew—I jot down a few lines about how I feel. Tired, hopeful, anxious, slightly furious if I had a dream about my ex last night… everything goes on the page. I keep it super short—no diaries from the 1800s here.
When I first tried this, I thought, “Isn’t writing how I feel just going to make me dwell more?” Surprisingly, no. Labeling my emotions has been proven to lower their intensity, as Daniel Goleman (the emotional intelligence guru) often points out.
By acknowledging feelings, you’re effectively putting them on a gentle leash, instead of letting them run wild. It’s a quiet but powerful start to the day. And if I’m honest, it’s oddly cathartic to see the swirl of last night’s angst in black and white before I close the notebook and move on.
2. Go on a social media “diet”
Social media was the biggest thorn in my side post-breakup. I’d catch myself tapping through my ex’s friends’ stories just to see if they might appear—talk about self-torture. So, I set a rule: I’d limit my overall social media use to two check-ins a day, max.
Here’s where it got fun (sort of). I unfollowed or muted anything that triggered me—old inside jokes, those “perfect couple” posts, even that travel blogger who reminded me of our canceled trip to Thailand. And let me tell you, the world did not collapse because I missed a few brunch photos. In fact, I felt calmer, more in control.
I was cutting out the visual noise that made my brain spiral into “why did it end” territory. If you need an extra nudge, you can also block or mute your ex’s profile. I’m a big believer in protecting your peace first and worrying about social etiquette later.
3. Give your mind a midday breather
By lunchtime, my thoughts would often drift back to past regrets or “what if” scenarios. To counter that, I started scheduling a five-minute mindful break in the middle of my day. I’d close my laptop, find a quiet corner (sometimes the office stairwell, very glamorous), and focus on my breathing.
I’d do something like the 4-4-4-4 method: inhale for four counts, hold for four, exhale for four, hold again for four, and repeat. Sometimes I’d try a quick body scan, noticing tension in my shoulders or jaw. As Brene Brown once said, “We can’t practice compassion with other people if we can’t treat ourselves kindly.”
Giving myself those few minutes of calm not only recharged my energy but also interrupted any toxic daydreaming about the past. A midday breather is basically a mini emotional reset button—and it works wonders.
4. Set up a “worry window”
Ever notice how, when you tell yourself “Don’t think about that,” you obsess over it even more? Yeah, me too. That’s where the worry window comes in. I allow myself 10 or 15 minutes of dedicated “worry time” each evening—preferably when I’m not in the best mood anyway, so it won’t ruin a highlight of my day.
In that window, I give myself permission to stew over regrets, rants, or frustration. I let the mental venting flow without guilt. But once my phone timer goes off—yes, I literally set a timer—that’s it. No more swirling around in negativity until tomorrow’s worry window.
Weirdly, it’s like scheduling an appointment with your sadness so it doesn’t pop up uninvited at 3 a.m. And knowing I have that time later helps me shut down intrusive thoughts throughout the day.
5. Find a new “happy hobby”
When I was in the throes of heartbreak, my free time felt like a black hole of longing. I’d tried binge-watching comedies (who can resist a Parks and Recreation marathon?), but that only did so much.
Then I discovered watercolor painting—a hobby I’d abandoned since college. It was messy, colorful, and oddly therapeutic. And it forced me to focus on something that wasn’t rehashing the past.
Maybe painting isn’t your jam. That’s okay. Pick anything that lets you explore a new skill or revisit an old one. Knitting, learning a new language, or even salsa lessons—just make sure it’s something you genuinely want to try, not something you feel you “should” do.
Every time I practice my brushstrokes, I feel a little more like myself and a little less like a walking heartbreak playlist.
6. Talk to a mirror—yes, really
I never thought I’d be the person to give myself pep talks, but let me confess: it works. I call it the mirror moment. After I brush my teeth at night, I spend a minute looking at myself (no avoiding eye contact!) and say affirmations out loud.
Yes, out loud. Statements like, “I am worthy of healthy love,” “I’m growing every day,” or even “I’m doing my best and that’s enough.”
The first time, I felt like a wannabe motivational speaker. But the more I did it, the more those words started to sink in. Tony Robbins famously says, “Quality questions create a quality life.” I feel the same about quality statements.
If we constantly tell ourselves we’re stuck in heartbreak, we’ll stay stuck. But if we remind ourselves we’re evolving, eventually our brain starts to believe it.
7. Declutter the tangible memories
If you’re anything like me, you may have a secret stash of keepsakes. Concert tickets, silly handwritten notes, maybe even a random set of chopsticks from that fancy sushi date. These items are basically emotional landmines.
So, I created a daily declutter ritual. Each day, I’d pick one thing tied to old memories and decide whether to toss it, donate it, or—my personal favorite—list it on Never Liked It Anyway.
This small act of physically removing these items from my space felt liberating. It was like telling the universe, “We’re done carrying all this emotional weight.” The process doesn’t have to be dramatic. It can be as simple as dropping off an old hoodie at a thrift store.
And no, you won’t regret it in the morning. What you will regret is continually tripping over that box of random love letters, wondering if you should text a “Hey, remember when…?” at midnight. Trust me, you shouldn’t.
8. End the day with gratitude
I’ve saved this one for last, friends, because it sounds cliché but has been one of the most transformative. Each night before bed—often right after my mirror moment—I write down three things I’m grateful for.
They can be teeny tiny, like “My coworker surprised me with a latte,” or major, like “I finally stood up for myself in a tough conversation.”
According to multiple psychologists, focusing on gratitude rewires our brains to see the good in life, rather than the longing or pain. Personally, it’s helped me shift from ruminating on what was lost to appreciating what I still have (spoiler: it’s a lot).
It’s a simple ritual that makes the pillow seem a bit softer and the heartbreak a bit more distant.
Final thoughts
Letting go of someone emotionally isn’t about waking up one morning magically indifferent. I wish it were that simple. It’s about stacking small daily habits—like mental lego bricks—that gradually build the stability you need to move forward.
Each of these routines, from the morning mini-journal to the final gratitude list, helped me step off the hamster wheel of heartbreak. It felt slow at first, but then I noticed, one day, I wasn’t nearly as fixated on the past as I used to be.
I hope these eight ideas offer a spark of motivation. Pick the ones that speak to you, tweak them, or even laugh at them if it helps. Because, in my experience, a little humor and a whole lot of mindful habits can lead you to an entirely new beginning.
And that’s exactly what we’re celebrating here at Never Liked It Anyway. Go ahead—free up your heart, sell the baggage, and watch what happens next. You’ve got this.
