Let’s be honest, we’ve all done it at some point.
Whether it’s scrolling through social media or having a chat with friends, it’s easy to start comparing your relationship to others’.
But that comparison game?
It’s not doing us any favors.
In fact, it can cause unnecessary stress and dissatisfaction.
That’s why it’s crucial to learn how to stop making these comparisons.
With some powerful habits, we can shift our focus away from others and back onto our own relationships.
And guess what?
I’ve got seven of them right here for you.
1) Embrace individuality
Relationships are as unique as the people in them.
This is a simple fact, but one that’s often forgotten when we start comparing our own relationships to others.
We see a couple on Instagram who seem to have it all together, or hear about a friend who’s in a seemingly perfect relationship.
It’s easy to feel like we’re falling short.
But here’s the thing – what works for one couple might not work for another.
Your relationship is unique and it should be celebrated for its individuality.
Instead of comparing, try focusing on what makes your relationship special.
Enjoy the quirks and idiosyncrasies that make your bond unique.
By doing this, you’ll not only stop the comparisons, but also appreciate your relationship more.
And what you see on social media or hear from friends is often just a highlight reel.
Don’t compare your behind-the-scenes with someone else’s showreel.
Embrace the individuality of your relationship, and you’ll find it’s one of the most effective ways to stop comparing it to others.
2) Focus on gratitude
Gratitude is a powerful tool that I’ve found to be incredibly effective in my own life.
Let me share a personal example.
A few years ago, I found myself constantly comparing my relationship with those of my friends.
I felt like everyone else was so much happier, so much more in love.
It was draining and left me feeling unsatisfied in my own relationship.
Then, I started a gratitude journal.
Every day, I would write down three things I was grateful for in my relationship.
Anything from a shared laugh over a silly joke to a kind gesture my partner had done for me.
Initially, it felt awkward and forced.
But over time, it became a habit.
And it changed my perspective dramatically.
Instead of focusing on what I thought was missing in my relationship, I started to see all the wonderful things that were already there.
The comparisons to other couples gradually faded away as I became more content with what I had.
Gratitude helped me appreciate the beauty of my own relationship without feeling the need to measure it against someone else’s.
It’s a habit that can truly transform the way you view your relationship.
3) Limit social media intake
Social media is a double-edged sword. It can be a great way to stay connected with friends and family, but it can also fuel feelings of inadequacy, especially when it comes to relationships.
A study from the University of Copenhagen found that many people suffer from “Facebook envy,” with those who abstain from using the popular site reporting that they feel more satisfied with their lives.
When we’re constantly bombarded with images of ‘perfect’ relationships, it’s easy to feel like ours doesn’t measure up.
But what you’re seeing is a carefully curated highlight reel.
Cutting down on social media or even having regular detox periods can help you stop comparing your relationship to others.
Instead, you’ll have more time and energy to invest in your own relationship, away from the distractions and comparisons that social media often brings.
4) Nurture self-love
This may sound cliché, but the relationship with yourself sets the tone for every other relationship you have.
When you love and respect yourself, you’re less likely to seek validation from others or compare your relationship to theirs.
Self-love isn’t just about pampering yourself or practicing self-care, although these are important too.
It’s about accepting who you are, flaws and all, and recognizing your worth.
When you’re secure in your own skin, you’re less likely to question your relationship or compare it to others.
Instead, you’ll appreciate the love and companionship it offers, without feeling the need to measure it against someone else’s.
Everyone moves at their own pace in life and love. Just because someone else seems to be in a ‘better’ place doesn’t mean that they actually are.
There’s no perfect path or timeline for relationships, so don’t pressure yourself or your relationship to match anyone else’s.
5) Count on communication
There was a time in my life when I found myself constantly comparing my relationship to my friend’s.
She and her partner seemed so in sync, always knowing what the other was thinking, and it made me question my own relationship.
What I failed to realize then was the power of open and honest communication.
My friend and her partner had spent years cultivating this, which was why they seemed to understand each other so well.
When I started being more open with my partner, not only about my insecurities but also about my hopes, dreams, and fears, everything changed.
We grew closer, more connected. And the need to compare faded away.
Communication is key in any relationship.
It can help clarify misunderstandings, build trust, and foster intimacy.
The more you communicate with your partner, the less you’ll feel the need to compare your relationship to others because you’ll be too busy strengthening your own bond.
6) Practice mindfulness
Mindfulness is all about living in the present moment.
When we’re mindful, we’re not worrying about the past or future, or making comparisons with others.
We’re simply appreciating what we have right here, right now.
Practicing mindfulness in your relationship means paying attention to your partner and the experiences you share.
It means savoring the good times and working through the tough ones together.
When you’re mindful, you’ll find that you’re too focused on your own relationship to worry about how it compares to others.
You’ll appreciate the unique journey that you and your partner are on, free from distractions and comparisons.
So next time you find yourself making comparisons, take a deep breath, bring your attention back to the present moment, and appreciate what’s happening in your relationship right now.
7) Cherish your journey
Your relationship is a journey, unique to you and your partner.
No other couple will experience the exact same highs and lows, share the same inside jokes, or understand each other in the same way.
This uniqueness is something to be cherished, not compared.
Your journey may look different from others, but that doesn’t make it any less beautiful or meaningful.
In the end, the most important thing is your happiness and satisfaction within your relationship.
As long as you and your partner are content and committed to each other, nothing else matters.
So cherish your unique journey together.
It’s one of a kind, just like your love story.
Final thoughts
Relationships, much like life, are not meant to be a competition.
They are a personal journey of growth, understanding, and love.
Theodore Roosevelt once said, “Comparison is the thief of joy.”
And he was right.
When we compare our relationships to others, we rob ourselves of the unique joy that our own love story brings.
There’s no one-size-fits-all when it comes to relationships.
What works for one couple may not work for another.
And that’s perfectly okay.
Your relationship doesn’t have to mirror anyone else’s to be successful or fulfilling.
So the next time you find yourself comparing your relationship to someone else’s, take a step back and remember these habits.
Embrace the individuality of your relationship, nurture self-love, communicate more, be mindful and be grateful.
Most importantly, cherish your unique journey together.
Because your love story is exactly that – yours.
And there’s no other like it in the world.
