Navigating a new relationship can be a thrilling but tricky task.
Three months in is a crucial point.
It’s when the initial infatuation starts to fade, and you begin to see each other’s true colors.
Knowing what questions to ask yourself during this pivotal period can help you evaluate your feelings and decide whether to stick around or move on.
In this article, I’ll share seven crucial questions you should ask yourself at the three-month point of your relationship.
1) Are we truly compatible?
This is the first big question to ask yourself.
Three months in, you’ve likely moved past the honeymoon phase.
It’s time to peel back the layers of infatuation and see if there’s real compatibility underneath.
Compatibility isn’t just about having shared interests or enjoying each other’s company.
It’s about aligning on core values, life goals, and communication styles.
Are you comfortable with how they handle conflict?
Can you see a future with their lifestyle and life goals?
Do their values align with yours?
If you’re struggling to answer these questions, it might be worth taking some time to reflect on what you truly want and need from a relationship.
Compatibility isn’t something that can be forced.
It’s either there, or it isn’t.
It’s best to figure this out early before you invest more time and emotional energy into the relationship.
2) Can I be myself around them?
This question hits close to home for me.
In one of my past relationships, I found myself constantly trying to be someone else.
I was always on edge, thinking about what to say or how to act to make sure my partner would still like me.
Three months in, I realized how exhausting it was.
I couldn’t continue pretending to be someone I wasn’t.
It was draining, and it made me feel like I was losing myself.
I learnt that it’s crucial to ask yourself: Can I truly be myself around this person?
Can I share my thoughts, feelings, and experiences without fear of judgment or criticism?
Do they accept me as I am, quirks and all?
If the answer is no, it might be a sign that the relationship isn’t as healthy as it should be.
Being able to be your authentic self is a key element of any strong and fulfilling relationship.
3) Do we communicate effectively?
Effective communication is the backbone of any successful relationship.
It involves more than just talking about your day or sharing a laugh.
It’s about being able to express your thoughts, feelings, and concerns in a respectful and understanding way.
A study by the University of Georgia found that couples who communicate effectively are less likely to divorce.
This means that how you talk to each other can significantly impact the longevity of your relationship.
Ask yourself: Do we listen to each other?
Are we open and honest about our feelings?
When disagreements arise, are we able to resolve them in a respectful manner?
If you’re finding communication difficult, it may be something you need to work on together or seek professional help for.
Developing good communication skills now can set a solid foundation for your relationship in the long run.
4) Do we respect each other’s boundaries?
Boundaries are essential in any relationship.
They help maintain respect, protect our mental and emotional wellbeing, and prevent misunderstandings.
At the three-month mark, it’s important to ask yourself: Does my partner respect my boundaries?
And do I respect theirs?
This could be anything from personal space, to time spent with friends, to deciding when and how to take the next step in your relationship.
If you find that your partner consistently crosses your boundaries or doesn’t take them seriously, it might be a red flag.
On the flip side, if you’re having trouble respecting their boundaries, it’s crucial to recognize this and work on it.
5) Do their actions match their words?
I’ve been in a relationship where promises were made, but actions didn’t follow through.
It was hurtful and caused a lot of uncertainty.
That’s why it’s crucial to ask yourself: Do their actions match their words?
If they say they care about you, do they show it?
If they promise to do something, do they keep their word?
Consistency between words and actions is a strong indicator of trustworthiness and reliability.
It helps build a solid foundation of trust in the relationship.
So, pay attention to this aspect.
It might reveal more about your relationship than you think.
6) Are we growing together?
As individuals, we’re always growing and evolving.
And in a relationship, it’s important to grow together.
Three months into your relationship, it’s worth asking: Are we supporting each other’s personal growth?
Are we learning and evolving together as a couple?
This could mean supporting each other’s career goals, adopting healthier habits together, or even taking a course to learn something new.
If you feel like you’re growing apart or your partner isn’t supportive of your personal growth, it might be time to have a serious conversation.
After all, the best relationships are those where you bring out the best in each other.
7) What does my gut say?
At the end of the day, your gut feeling is often the most accurate.
It’s that instinctive, intuitive sense that can tell you a lot about your relationship.
Do you feel at ease with this person?
Do you feel loved, respected, and valued?
Does the thought of a future with them make you happy?
Your gut feeling can cut through the noise and confusion and guide you towards what’s truly right for you.
Trust it.
It’s all about self-awareness
The essence of any relationship lies in the heart of self-awareness.
Understanding your feelings, expectations, and reactions is the cornerstone of establishing a meaningful connection with another person.
The questions we’ve explored are not just about assessing your partner, but also about understanding yourself better.
In fact, Robert Sternberg, a renowned psychologist, emphasizes the importance of self-understanding in his Triangular Theory of Love.
He suggests that the most profound and enduring relationships are those where both parties have a deep understanding of themselves and each other.
So as you reflect on these questions, remember that you’re not only evaluating your relationship but also growing as an individual.
Whether this relationship lasts a lifetime or merely a season, the self-awareness you gain can guide you in all your future relationships.
After all, the journey of love is as much about understanding the self as it is about understanding the other.
