Netflix and chill…been there, watched that, done that. And while there’s nothing wrong with getting a little action when the movie’s over, sometimes, you’d rather watch the credits, or binge-watch the whole trilogy without interruption. And ever since the whole “Netflix and chill” phrase went viral on social media, it’s become very clear that this idea that people can invite you over under the guise of watching some Netflix to instead get some is widespread and potentially unavoidable. So the next time you’re in a situation like this, and you really, truly just want to actually “chill”, here are some (totally foolproof, completely serious) tips to get you outta there before the movie watchin’ gets rough!
1. Watch a c*ckblocker
Avoid romance, drama, and even action- violent explosions turn some people on (seems reasonable). Instead, check out the kid’s side of Netflix- any of the “Air Buddies” movies should work. For a festive c*ckblock, check out “Spooky Buddies”- it might just scare him so bad he’ll forget he even wanted to get some in the first place.
2. Get into a series
For a more adult approach to the c*ckblock, find a new series that the two of you can get into together. The most highly addictive shows are usually the raunchiest, and therefore, most likely a turn-off. And nobody wants to fool around when you can instead watch Kerry Washington doin’ her thing on “Scandal”.
3. Piss him off
Find out what his pet peeves are and do them all. Insist on the loudest snacks possible and chew right in his ear. Talk about that one girl in elementary school who called you ugly, and how you’re still not over it- just petty stuff, really. You’ll never see anyone leave faster.
4. Suggest Hulu
Yeah, yeah, “what’s in a name?”, we get it. But avoiding the cult-like buzz surrounding Netflix might just be the trick to avoid this whole “Netflix and chill” culture in the first place. And Hulu has less options, which means less time spent debating what to watch and therefore less time for him to suggest skipping the “Netflix” part altogether.
5. Be honest
Then there’s the simplest approach, which is to just be honest about your intentions. Make it clear that you’re only there for Netflix, not a hook-up. If he doesn’t respect that, he’s not the one for you (or anyone, for that matter!). And if you are there to “chill”, then do your thing, baby- just disregard everything you’ve just read.