So you’ve loved and you’ve lost. Or you’ve hated and that’s why you’ve lost, but either way, who is to say you won’t love again? Nobody. (Nobody also says you won’t hate again, but let’s face it, the world is full of schmucks. But I digress.) The thing is, the first thing a friend will tell you in attempt to comfort you is almost always that there’s tons of fish in the sea, but the thought of throwing your metaphorical dating net back out into those rough waters is pretty daunting. (Think “Deadliest Catch”, minus the sailor mouth.) So in order to give some more realistic advice to people hoping to get back out into the dating game, I pulled some inspiration from a few close friends of mine, who’ve had far too many off-seasons on the S.S. Still Single.
- Don’t overanalyze
Meaning, don’t take anything he or she says to heart. You should go into a relationship feeling confident in yourself and happy with who you are; you shouldn’t rest the fate of your self-esteem on someone else’s comments. They should only be reinforcements of how perfect and absolutely flawless you are. (Yes, I’m looking at you.)
- Don’t settle
This one shouldn’t need much on an explanation, however, far too many people that deserve much better than they’re getting stick around because they’re unaware of their worth. Here’s a quick, easy way to figure out if you’re worthy of a healthy relationship: if you’re not an ass, you deserve it. There ya go.
- Don’t feel obligated
If somebody’s just not funny, don’t feel pressured to laugh. This one is specifically directed towards the ladies, since we often feel obligated to keep a man’s ego inflated in order for him to like us better. Let’s get real, if he’s not funny to you, it will never work out, and giving him false feedback is not doing him any favors, either. Be yourself and you won’t have to worry about a relationship working out…it’ll work out, naturally.
- Don’t be someone else
A good idea when getting back out there is doing activities you like, like kayaking, hiking, or painting. It’s always good to try new things, too, but NEVER pretend to be gung-ho about something for somebody when you’re just not. Nobody wants to get caught pretending they know football, and who wants to spend a date bird-watching? Probably not most people.
- Don’t worry about it
This could also mean to just take it easy and enjoy the ride of the relationship, but really, don’t worry about dating at all if you’re not ready. It can be hard when friends and family want you to be happy again (or just want you out of their hair), but don’t let the pressure get to you, because getting into something when you’re not ready is also unhealthy. Dating is fun, but the single life can be liberating. Go find yourself. Then find your soulmate.
