After Jennifer Lopez and Casper Smart broke up, my friends and I started joking about all the things Casper might have to sell. What did J-Lo give him that he could no longer look at? What did she give him that he never liked in the first place? On a wine-fuelled whim, we decided to take it to the streets and find out what other people thought he might be getting rid of. We rolled around Union Square, Williamsburg and went all the way up to Harlem to see what the dumped and famous might have to get rid of.
Brett, 35, Gym Instructor
“His leash collection. No doubt about it. That guy was kept on a tight one. He’s probably got some pretty nice leashes in there… gold-enameled, cheetah spotted — maybe even some with diamonds on it too. He’s probably ready to sell them all”. Interestingly enough, Brett was the 5th person we spoke to who suggested a leash. But the first to go into such detail. Nice one Brett.
Allie, 22, Student
“Wasn’t he like, my age? I bet she gave him things to make him seem older. Like a cellar full of fine whiskeys or a library full of old books. I hope he sells that stuff and sells it super cheap. I’d buy it!”. Allie could be on to something here. If he’s truly feeling burned, maybe he’ll sell the high end stuff for a buck. A case of Glamorgan for $2? Yes please!
Ken, 27, Barista
“She’s such a diva, I imagine she’d do something crazy like buy him a cabinet to store all her awards in. He’d be ready to sell that shit now. Actually, he should just burn it.” Now we’re getting into the burn zone. Nothing says “DTM” like a breakup bonfire.
Lucy, 32, PR Manager
“I don’t know, they were pretty in love. Maybe he’d sell the album of the first song they danced to?” She makes a good point, but who has albums these days? Can you sell one song back to Spotify?
Amy, 37, Doctor
“She made him wear matching tracksuits! MATCHING TRACKSUITS. That is never OK. If that guy wants to get laid ever again he should sell those asap.” Amy, we’re with you. There is bad taste and then there is matching outfits. No amount of Beckham-fails seems to have got the message through to poor J-LO and Casper in time.
Originally published on Styleite
