One day, if you haven’t already, you will find the peanut butter to your jelly, the milk to your cookie, the eggs to your bacon- some pairings are just meant to be. However, sometimes pairings happen that aren’t meant to be, and even though they’re really quite terrible together, they struggle along in a painful coexistence until one of them realizes they just don’t work together. This might sound like your last relationship, as is common in human relationships, but this happens in the food world, too. Every now and then, you’ll hear of a food pairing that is so vile you could just about hurl on the spot- much like third wheeling a brand new, loved up couple. And I’m tired of third wheeling- or being in the presence of- a food couple that is just so absolutely repulsive when we have real, actually tasty food couples up the wazoo. So we’ve rounded up five of the strangest and most foul food pairings we’ve heard that really need to break-up. Then never, ever, ever get back together.
1. Hot cheetos & cream cheese
My first question is: why? As it is for all strange food pairings I hear of. But really, who thought to take two things that are amazing on their own, then force them to copulate? Was their fridge empty? Was this their attempt at a meal? And why did they spread the word about this awful combination? If you’re looking to pair hot cheetos with cheese, try them with macaroni and cheese instead, a pairing that is tried and true.
2. Cheese & apple pie
Now this is one way to keep me from binging on desserts! Nothing says “You can practice self-control!” like a big ol’ slice of cheddar cheese on apple pie. What ever happened to a scoop of vanilla ice cream? Why is their relationship suddenly complicated?
3. Banana & mayo sandwiches
I wish I had made this one up, I really do. I really have no words for this sandwich. It’s apparently popular in the South. I might consider putting a banana and mayonnaise mask in my hair, but never in my mouth. Not even if you sandwich it between two pieces of white bread, which really only actually makes it worse.
4. Bananas & ketchup
Is sliced banana cheating on sliced strawberry with tomato puree? Not cool. Talk about a major downgrade.
5. Sour cream & sugar sandwiches
I’m all for sour cream in a cake to make it moist. Maybe even in a baked bread recipe. But spread on white bread with sugar? You could not pay me enough to eat it. I wouldn’t even feed it to my dog. Sour cream and bread need to formally split now. Their relationship is toxic. Consider this an intervention.