5 Douchebags You’ll See on Halloween

Halloween isn’t just for promiscuous female costumes—it’s also a time for the douchebags to show their true selves (or hide under a mask) and frolic about under the moon. They run rampant not only for a day, but for the whole weekend (perhaps even the whole month) for Halloween. With costume parties galore, it’s inevitable that you will run into one, if not all, of the following douches on this spooky holiday.

 

The Not Wearing a Costume Douche

So this guy thinks he can just waltz into a Halloween party in jeans and a sweatshirt because he’s “too cool” to put together anything simply resembling a costume? Meanwhile you ran around the mall 13 times trying to put together your last-minute “Gold Digger” costume (you just couldn’t find those damn little gold coin chocolates!) for this party. I don’t think so! No costume, no kissy. (Ok, maybe kissy after a few but let’s try not to)

 

The Jungle Juice Douche

Ah, the good ol’ days of freshman year college when you drank that odd red concoction in your sexy cop costume and then threw up off the side of the dorm bed later in the night while falling off the bed into said puke at the same time (don’t act like this never happened to you too). Jungle Juice, or some sort of form of it, always finds its way back into a Halloween party at a friend’s house. “Spooky Juice” or “Witches Brew” or whatever you want to call it…this guy is making sure to get all the ladies hammered and refill the cups with his delicious mixture (that’s what she said).

 

The Wanna-Be DJ Douche

Ok Jason, how many times do we have to hear “Thriller” and “Monster Mash” before you choose another song to play? I understand it’s Halloween and all, but really, if you’re going to take control of the iPod at this party then please do your research beforehand on Halloween party music. Step away from the speaker.

 

The Boo Douche

This guy is dressed in some creepy AF costume and just wants to hide around corners and scare any female that passes him by. If we wanted to be scared on Halloween, we’ll go to a Haunted House, thank you very much! IDGAF if Halloween is supposed to be spooky, sometimes we just want a good excuse to wear a costume and dance the night away. Stop making me feel like a girl in a scary movie, I’m not going to trip and look back at you!

 

The Repeat Costume Douche

You’ll only be aware of this repeat-offender if you find yourself going to parties thrown by the same groups of friends (or perhaps if you live in a small town with one bar throwing a huge bash). Like, why hello Indiana Jones. Nice belt you have there. Pretty sure we made out three years ago and I’m not about that again.

 

This Halloween, it’s not only ghosts and goblins to look out for…beware of the douches!

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