Unfortunately, nobody can bake a cake filled with rainbows and smiles that everyone could eat and be happy (Mean Girls reference, which is fitting because fake friends are rampant in that film). No, some time in your life you will encounter someone that will pretend to be your friend or to like you, whether it be because they need to use you for something or just because it’s a game they like to play. Sometimes, it even starts out as a real friendship, and as time goes on, the quality of the friendship dwindles, and usually by one person’s doing (if you’re reading this, chances are, it wasn’t by your doing). Encountering fake people seems to be a shared experience for most people, and so when you feel it’s time to do something about someone fake in your life, you might be criticized for “caring too much” about what other people, especially the fake kind, think of you. But it’s not that simple, as you can form emotional ties even with these “fake” people, which makes ending the relationship that much harder. You might’ve shared some good times, and you may hold out hope for the relationship to flourish again, but 9 times out of 10 it won’t. And when a friendship becomes more nasty than nice, it’s time to end things. For both your physical and emotional health, check out our three tips on how to cut off that fake friend for good.
1. End all contact without a word
If the stress of telling someone why you’re cutting off all contact is too much, doing it without a word may be helpful to you. If you’ve deleted them from all your social media and ignored all their messages and then they don’t bother to follow up in person, it shows that they noticed but don’t care, and that’s that. If they do happen to run into you and they genuinely want to know what happened, don’t lie, but you don’t owe them any explanation if they’ve done damage to your emotional well-being. Don’t do anything you don’t want to do, don’t say anything you don’t want to say, but if you do feel compelled to give them explanation, don’t beat yourself up over it- it doesn’t mean you’re repairing the relationship, just ending it on a cordial note.
2. Be honest
If you’re more of the straightforward type, this is the method for you. Send them a text and let them know that you don’t really intend on continuing the friendship any longer. If they’re cool with it, they didn’t really care much about the friendship in the first place. If they’re seriously confused, you could tell them your reasoning behind it and see what they say- you can hear them out without changing your mind. Getting closure on the friendship might be the best way to end it with the least amount of stress.
3. State the problem, see if they can fix it
Get together with them in person- not for dinner or a movie or anything, just to talk- and tell them how you’ve been feeling. If they deny everything you say and invalidate your feelings, the friendship is not worth saving. If they really listen to you, show remorse, and seem like they might change, second chances don’t hurt, and contrary to popular belief, “fool me twice, shame on me” is not how it works. If they ruin their second chance, it wasn’t your fault for having faith and compassion. Just look to tip 1 or 2 to end it permanently. Take care of yourself, even if that includes cutting people out of your life!
