It’s almost Thanksgiving—a time for giving thanks (I’m sure you were unsure what the holiday is for so I wanted to state the obvious for you—you’re welcome). We Americans like to gather around a table and eat turkey and stuffing and talk to family that is going to inevitably ask us “What happened to Jimmy” or “Are you still single?!” And that’s when you can quip to annoying Aunt Rita why you’re really thankful (although maybe you aren’t thankful that you have to talk to her in this moment, even if she does make the best pumpkin cheesecake).
1. You no longer have to call/text your beau before going out with your friends for a night on the town…or check in with texts throughout…and let him know when you’re home…
2. You have no plans, so you can do whatever you want! Friend calls for a last minute road trip? OK! Want to check out that new bar? OK! The world is your oyster.
3. Speaking of oysters, go buy some pearl jewelry! Buy that art piece for the wall you’ve wanted to put above the couch. Buy whatever you damn well please.
4. Total control over the car stereo. Need I say more?
5. No more dirty boxers/socks/undershirts getting piled in on top of your own laundry to do.
6. Now you only have to deal with one family around the holidays—your own.
7. So many less gifts to purchase for the holidays (and gifts to pretend you like). No more wondering what your ex’s weird sister who has only spoken two words to you in the year you dated or binge tequila-shooting mom will want for Christmas (alcohol—she’d want alcohol. But still).
8. No waiting for your S.O. to catch up on all your shows together. Why hello Saturday, you look like the perfect day to watch all the new episodes of The Leftovers.
9. The cute guy(s) that flirts you up when you’re out? You can get his number.
10. Sleeping diagonally in the bed. With no snoring except your own.
11. Now you can see what Tinder is all about. (Hey, you were curious)
12. Order a whole pizza (with the toppings you want) and eat the whole damn thing if you want! Or know for sure that the leftovers will be waiting for you for breakfast tomorrow.
13. Get your time in with a good sweat sesh at the gym more regularly with no one keeping you in bed to snuggle a little longer (except maybe Fido…ok you’ll take it).
14. No more arguing over something stupid like who keeps leaving the kitchen cabinet open or replacing the toilet paper roll.
15. Now you’re that exciting single friend who gets to go do what she wants and has endless possibilities. All your friends in committed long term relationships will be crawling to you for stories to live vicariously through. So live it up, girl!
