Love isn’t a one-size-fits-all scenario. You don’t just rush into a relationship because you’re scared of being alone. Nope, the key to true happiness is waiting for someone who ticks all the right boxes.
Not any old boxes, mind you, I’m talking about seven particular traits that can make or break a relationship. Hang tight, because we’re about to dive headfirst into what these are all about.
Sure, staying single a bit longer might seem like a drag. But trust me, when you find someone with these traits, it’ll be worth the wait. They say good things come to those who wait, and in love, this couldn’t be truer.
1) Kindness matters
Let me tell you something, kindness is everything in a relationship. It’s not about grand gestures or extravagant gifts. It’s about the little things that show they genuinely care.
You see, kindness is the glue that holds relationships together. It’s the simple act of considering your partner’s feelings before your own. It’s being understanding when they’re having a bad day, and it’s offering support when they need it most.
Think about it. Do you want to spend your life with someone who’s constantly critical, or with someone who lifts you up and makes you feel good about yourself? The answer is pretty clear.
2) Embrace the flaws
You’ve heard it before, nobody’s perfect. Yet, when it comes to relationships, we often find ourselves seeking that elusive perfection.
Here’s the thing. Those little quirks, those so-called ‘flaws’, they’re what make us human. They’re what make us unique. And, believe it or not, they can be the very things that deepen our connection with our partner.
The person who snores like a freight train at night or can’t seem to keep their socks off the living room floor might just be your perfect match. It all comes down to acceptance.
A relationship isn’t about finding someone who ticks all your boxes of perfection. It’s about finding someone whose flaws you can not only tolerate but embrace.
3) Independence is key
You know, in all my years of delving into the intricacies of relationships, I’ve learnt that one of the most crucial traits to look for in a partner is independence.
I’m not talking about the kind of independence that means they’re aloof or unattached. I’m talking about a healthy level of self-reliance, where they’re comfortable in their own skin and don’t need you to complete them.
In my book, Breaking The Attachment: How To Overcome Codependency in Your Relationship, I delve into how codependency can hinder a relationship’s growth.
When you’re both independent individuals, you’re not leaning on each other for emotional support all the time. Instead, you’re two complete beings coming together to experience life side by side. You enrich each other’s lives rather than depending on each other to fill a void.
So look for someone who complements you, not completes you. This is the path to a truly fulfilling relationship.
4) Laughter is the best medicine
Charlie Chaplin once said, “A day without laughter is a day wasted.” I couldn’t agree more.
In my experience, one of the most beautiful traits to look for in a partner is their ability to make you laugh. And I’m not just talking about a polite chuckle here and there. I mean that deep belly laughter that leaves you gasping for breath and your cheeks hurting.
Laughter is the shortest distance between two people. It’s a universal language that breaks down barriers and builds connection. It’s the spark that keeps the relationship alive and exciting.
I remember when my husband made me laugh so hard on our first date, I nearly snorted my drink. It was in that moment I knew he was someone special.
5) Communication is everything
I can’t stress this enough, a relationship without open and honest communication is like a car without fuel. It’s not going anywhere.
We often think we’re good communicators, but are we really? Are we truly listening to understand or just to reply? Are we expressing our feelings in a way that our partner comprehends?
A partner who’s willing to talk, to listen, and to understand is a gem. Someone who’s not afraid to express their feelings and respects your perspective even when it differs from theirs.
I recall an instance when I had a disagreement with my other half. Instead of letting our tempers flare, we took a moment, communicated our thoughts clearly, and found common ground. This wouldn’t have been possible without open communication.
6) Emotional intelligence is a game-changer
The great Maya Angelou once said, “I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”
This quote resonates deeply with me, especially when it comes to relationships. You see, emotional intelligence is often overlooked, but it’s a trait that truly makes a difference.
A partner with high emotional intelligence understands their own emotions and can empathize with yours. They’re able to navigate conflicts with maturity and respect your feelings even when things get tough.
I remember dating someone who would get defensive at the slightest hint of criticism. It was exhausting. But when I met my husband, his ability to handle disagreements with understanding showed me how emotionally mature he was.
7) Shared values can’t be overlooked
This might sound harsh, but love isn’t enough. You heard me. You can love someone with all your heart, but if your values don’t align, you’re in for a bumpy ride.
Values, they’re the foundation of who we are. They shape our decisions, our actions, our life. If your partner’s values clash with yours, it can lead to disagreements, misunderstandings, and resentment.
Picture this: you value honesty above all else, but your partner has a loose relationship with the truth. How long before that cracks the foundation of your relationship? Or you want children, but they don’t. That’s not a small difference to overcome.
A deeper dive into the journey of love
When it comes to love and relationships, there’s a lot more than meets the eye. It’s not just about finding someone who makes your heart flutter. It’s about finding someone you can build a life with, someone who shares your values, makes you laugh, communicates openly, and respects you for who you are.
But the journey doesn’t end here. In fact, it’s just beginning. These seven traits are merely a starting point to help you navigate the complex terrain of love and relationships. There’s so much more to explore and learn.
To delve deeper into this topic, I highly recommend watching this insightful video by Justin Brown. He explores the complexities of finding a life partner, reflecting on his personal experience after a failed date and the lessons he learned. From understanding the importance of shared values to the significance of growth and mutual support in a relationship, he shares his top insights to help you navigate the journey of finding a compatible partner.
So keep learning, keep growing, and remember that true happiness in love comes from finding someone who complements you in ways that matter most. Love is a journey, not a destination. Embrace every step along the way.
