Dealing with an ex can feel like walking a tightrope—especially when they’re still lingering in your life and showing off their new girlfriend.
It’s confusing, frustrating, and leaves you wondering, “What’s their deal?”
If they’re still reaching out to you, dropping breadcrumbs, or making sure you know what’s going on in their new relationship, you’re not imagining it.
There’s a good chance they’re playing the jealousy game, and it’s as messy as it sounds.
Having worked with countless people through tricky relationship dynamics, I’ve seen this behavior unfold time and again.
And while it’s annoying, it’s also predictable—there are clear signs when your ex is trying to get under your skin.
Let’s break down the seven telltale signs your ex is pulling this move, so you can spot it, call it for what it is, and figure out how to deal with it on your terms.
1) The sudden increase in communication
We all know that communication is key in any relationship, but what about after the relationship ends?
If your ex has a new girlfriend but has suddenly started contacting you more often, this could be a sign that they’re trying to make you jealous.
It’s not unusual for exes to remain friends or stay in touch occasionally. But if their messages or calls have significantly increased since they started dating someone new, it might not be just friendly conversation they’re after.
This increase in communication can often be an attempt to keep themselves on your mind, or even to show off their new partner indirectly.
Pay attention to the frequency and the content of these exchanges. It could reveal a lot more than you think.
2) The lack of mention about the new girlfriend
Surprisingly, not talking about their new girlfriend can also be a sign that your ex is trying to make you jealous.
It seems counterintuitive, right? But stay with me here.
If your ex consistently contacts you but rarely or never mentions his new partner, it’s a subtle way of keeping the door open with you. It’s as if they’re saying, “Look, I’m still here, and she’s not that important.”
By omitting her from the conversation, they’re indirectly making a space for you, possibly in an attempt to provoke feelings of jealousy or curiosity.
It’s a sneaky tactic that can stir up more emotions than you’d expect.
3) The constant reminders of the past
Do you find that your ex often brings up shared memories or inside jokes from your past relationship in conversations?
This could be a sign that they’re trying to make you jealous.
It’s like they’re subtly saying, “Remember all the good times we had together?” By invoking the past, they might be trying to make you feel like you’re missing out on something, or even regretting your decision to part ways.
I’ve seen this tactic time and again. In fact, I discuss it in-depth in my book “Breaking The Attachment: How To Overcome Codependency in Your Relationship“.
4) The dramatic change in social media behavior
In this digital age, social media plays a significant part in our lives, and it’s no different when it comes to relationships, even past ones.
If your ex, who was never much of a social media person while you were together, is suddenly flooding his feed with pictures and posts about his new girlfriend, consider it a red flag.
This sudden change in behavior might be a ploy to make sure you see how “happy” he is in his new relationship.
But social media is often a highlight reel. Just because it looks perfect online doesn’t mean it is. I’ve seen this play out countless times. It’s essential to keep things in perspective and not let these posts affect your wellbeing.
5) The deliberate parading of the new girlfriend
We’ve all heard of the term ‘showing off’, but have you ever considered that your ex might be doing just that with his new girlfriend?
If every conversation with your ex somehow includes a mention of his new partner, or if he makes sure you see them together at common events or places, he might be trying to make you jealous.
It can feel like a punch in the gut, seeing him flaunt his new relationship.
But remember, it’s not about you. It’s about them and their need to provoke a reaction.
In my experience, this kind of behavior usually stems from insecurity or a need for validation. So, instead of letting it get to you, take it as a sign that you’re probably better off without him.
6) The sudden interest in your love life
Has your ex started asking about your dating life or trying to find out if you’re seeing someone?
This sudden curiosity about your personal affairs could be a sign they’re trying to stir up jealousy.
It’s as if they’re saying, “I’ve moved on, why haven’t you?” or even worse, “You’ll never find someone like me.”
Don’t let your ex’s attempts to make you jealous affect your self-esteem or happiness.
If you’re finding these insights helpful and want more, don’t forget to follow me on Facebook. You’ll get my latest articles right in your feed. But for now, let’s get back to understanding these signs.
7) The “accidental” slips about their happiness
Lastly, if your ex seems to “accidentally” let slip how happy they are with their new partner, it could well be a strategy to make you feel jealous.
They might casually mention how caring their new girlfriend is, or how they’ve never been so content in a relationship. It can feel like a blow, hearing them express joy while you’re still healing.
But here’s the raw truth: it’s okay to feel hurt. It’s okay to take time to heal. And it’s okay to distance yourself from your ex if their actions are causing you pain.
Final thoughts
Navigating the waters of post-breakup interactions can be tricky, especially when your ex shows signs of trying to make you jealous. But remember, their actions are more a reflection of them than of you.
Engaging with these tactics can be exhausting and hurtful. It’s important to acknowledge your feelings, but don’t let them control you. Instead, focus on personal growth and emotional healing.
It reminds me of a quote from the great Maya Angelou: “You may not control all the events that happen to you, but you can decide not to be reduced by them.”
As a relationship expert, I’ve seen countless instances of people getting caught up in their ex’s games. But trust me, it’s not worth your peace of mind.
For a deeper dive into healing from past relationships and moving forward, I’d recommend watching this video by Justin Brown.
It explores the complexities of finding a life partner and shares valuable insights about growth and mutual support in relationships.
Remember, every end is a new beginning. So instead of focusing on your ex’s actions, look forward to the opportunities that lie ahead. Because you deserve happiness and peace in your life.
